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Sexpert advice on how to keep self-isolation sexy

The last time I had sex was a month ago and I honestly can’t say with any kind of certainty when it will happen again. I’m just one of the millions of single people who are currently quarantined at home without a partner.

It goes without saying that we’re currently entering uncharted waters, sexually speaking.

Globally, sex toy sales are on the rise, as is porn consumption, with sites like Pornhub reporting a notable increase in traffic since COVID-19 (in part because the company is currently offering their premium service to all of Italy free of charge).

While it’s easy to feel disillusioned by the current state of affairs, I’m challenging you to use this time to experiment, explore and reconnect.

Whether you’re home alone or holed up with your partner, here are a few things you can do to keep your sex life fresh:

1. Try a groundbreaking sex toy.

There’s never been a better time to add to your personal tickle trunk. This is your chance to go big and stay home. I have my eyes on the Osé personal massager — the award-winning, innovative sex toy that was banned from last year’s Electronics Show (CES). The sleek sex toy features a clitoral stimulator that mimics the motion of a tongue paired with a G-spot massager which provides a finger-like come hither motion. Word on the street is the Osé is the holy grail of DIY blended orgasms.

2. Penis owners, that means you too.

“There’s been a lot of talk from women about stocking up on vibrators but not a lot of talk from men! Especially for men who are self-isolating on their own,” says Anne Hodder-Shipp, a certified sex and relationship educator. She suggests investing in a love doll or a “mega masturbator.” She likes the ones from Pipedream because they’re made of soft supple material, have a lifelike feel, are easy to clean and “a great way to keep yourself company during this uncertain time,” she says.

3. Delve into your fantasies and desires.

Join a sex-positive social network. PleazeMe allows you to take a quiz to determine your “sex sign” before directing you to a curated selection of entertaining, educational content. Designed to help you gain insight into your intimate ne, you’ll find everything from erotic stories and info on tantric masturbation (the perfect activity to undertake if you have a lot of time on your hands) to tips on how to create a night of “happy ending yoga.”

There’s even a private message function on PleazeMe so members can share their fantasies. “Some of the chat’s I’ve been in have made me blush and hot,” shares Heather, a spokesman for the brand. “It was a great lead-in to an amazing self-pleasure session.”

4. Switch up your stimulation.

Watch real couples have sex. No, I’m not suggesting you take to your window with a pair of binoculars. Instead, check out the sex-positive site Make Love Not Porn, which features uploaded content from real life couples getting it on. Alternatively, get audibly aroused. Dipsea is an app filled with short audio stories — which range from five minutes to 20 minutes in length — with one aim in mind: to sexually arouse women. Listen alone or with a partner.

5. Don’t put pressure on yourself.

Lastly, it’s okay if you are feeling too anxious to get busy — either solo or with a partner. Be gentle with yourself.

As Hodder-Shipp reminds us, “you can also keep things sexy by simply practising a little extra self-care, like taking longer showers, using face masks or hair treatments that feel special, or taking time to put lotion on all over your body before getting into bed. Wearing clothing that feels soft and cozy against your skin, even sleeping naked, are also great ways to experience sensory stimulation when you’re not feeling in the mood for sex.”

Indulging in sexy time is great, but as Hodder-Shipp puts it, “you can still feel yourself without having to literally feel yourself.”